Monday, May 07, 2007

Scrapbooking 101

I finally bit the bullet and began Prim's scrapbook-or should I call it a Life book?? I've decided that I will do one book completely dedicated to the adoption and our travels and then begin a separate book that focuses on her "growing up"-just like G's. I couldn't wrap my brain around doing both together and felt better when I decided to make her journey to our family a book in itself. It just felt like too much to keep adding onto and I look forward to dedicating many, many pages to her past history.

I do have to say though that when I think about what to include about her bio family I kind of come to a screeching halt. I think a part of me-a very honest part of me-quakes at talking about her biological mother. There is just that part of my heart that wants to her to be mine all mine and no one elses. But...then the realistic part of me kicks in and I realize this is real life-not a soap opera-and this part of her is who she is and who she will be. The funny thing is is that I can't wait to tell her how she was loved and adored by her foster family but I hear crickets when I think about what to tell her about her mother. That she was too young and would have been a disgrace to her family forever? That she may not have had a fair chance in life because of stigma that last for generations? I'm sure that, in time, with experience and actually having her here it won't be as awful as I think it to be.

Food for thought: How do we raise our adopted children to celebrate their lives without being defined by their adoption?


Tami said...

What a thought provoking post! I found you by way of the Suzanne's adoption blog roundup. My husband and I are taking the slow and easy approach in talking to our three about their birth mothers. In fact we're not even using the term 'mother.' Right now I think it might be too confusing.
I wouldn't stress about it right now. Give her as much as she can understand and add to it as you go. You'll be fine.

:: Suzanne :: said...

You ask a great question.

We adopted older kids who basically inform us about their previous moms. They matter-of-factly talk about their Russian moms.

Sometimes, when they need to clarify, they call me their Forever Mom. That works nicely for me.

:: Suzanne :: said...

Just wanted to let you know that the Adoption BlogPost RoundUp round-up is up!

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