Praying Effectively Through The School Year

Today's Faith Deployed article focuses on praying scripturally for our children!

Melancholy

Today I find myself in quite a pitiful state. Not completely happy and not completely sad but some strange place in between.

Prim started her first day of preschool today. Yes, she began last year but it was only two days a week and this year she will be gone four days a week. As I watched her go into her new class, after just yesterday waving goodbye to G as he began his second grade year, I lamented over how quickly it has all gone.  Time is quickly passing me by and I fear that I haven't captured it enough, remembered enough.  I worry that the little things that make having a child so precious are going to be forgotten.

My expectations have had to shift since May. You see, at this point I hoped to be pregnant, just in the beginning stages of showing off a baby bump.  How it hurts my heart that I do not have this small gift to carry along with me.  I didn't think it would hurt this much but in the quiet of my own mind today I found myself longing for what seems to be missing.

Is it supposed to feel like we're always saying goodbye? Goodbye to expectations, goodbye to our children as they grow a year older, goodbye to a season that we thought would outlast our dreams.  I ask God so often why, why, why that I wonder if He's still listening. But maybe it's me who's not hearing.  I read His Word that says:

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.  1 Peter 6-7

and not only do I think of my own trials; this deployment, infertility and a small brood growing older by the minute, but I think of the people that I see around me who are suffering and I feel overwhelmed.  A friend of mine often posts on Facebook about about a family who just lost their daughter to an aggressive form of brain cancer. She was five. She was alive one day and the next she was gone, resting in the arms of Jesus.  Or I read Mary Beth Chapman's new book about losing her daughter, Maria, and I think to myself, is this what perspective looks like? How can I possibly feel this way with what they have suffered through?

Maybe it would seem easier if H were home.  Him being gone only magnifies the loneliness and I know that he would stand next to me and say "they're getting so big, where did the time go?"... And then I think of him being seven thousand miles away and not being able to kiss them goodbye on their first day of school or hug them when he gets home. Again-perspective.   

I know tomorrow will be a new day and the goodbyes won't feel quite so difficult. And maybe in November, when there is a welcome hello they won't seem so harsh to begin with.  But for now, I pray that I will be proven faithful and that He always be in it...

New Camera!

The Evolution of a Red Velvet Cupcake

Recipe:

One sweet little girl
One on one time with mommy
A camera
LOTS of kisses

Put them all together for a memorable afternoon with my favorite girl! Oh! and the cupcakes were ok...... :)

Prim's First Snow

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

My How Time Flies...

The past year has flown by and can only be described as: SURVIVED. We survived another deployment, sleep deprivation and kindergarten. Learning to read for Gabe, learning that she wasn't abandoned by Daddy for Grace. Moving away from a place that felt something close to home and best friends and then moving again after only nine weeks. A new job for Hung that causes him to deploy this May when we were looking forward to two years together uninterrupted. What to do about more babies. Adoption or fertility treatments? Where and when? How? Will I ever feel normal or has God allowed this suffering for His greater purposes? This year I want to react less, love more and grow closer to Him. The Truth is not always clear to me because I have not hidden enough of His Word in my heart. Do I desire more children because I feel unsatisfied or am I being prompted? Why can't I tell the difference right now? We are incredibly blessed to be close to family after almost seven years of being either overseas or on the west coast. I no longer have to miss my mother's hugs. So much to look forward to this year yet so much up in the air. Only He knows where we are headed and I pray that we can do everything for His glory. More of Him, less of me. That is my motto this year.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRIM!!

prim's third birthday at Disneyland! A princess in the making!

Oh Christmas Tree

This year is extra special as Prim celebrates her very first Christmas! Besides the very fun activities of decorating the christmas tree (the kids got their very own this year!) and putting up lights around the house, this year a new story begins for our daughter. The story of Christ and his birth. As the season of Advent begins, I hope to take time each day to teach the kids the love of God and his gift to us through the birth of his son, Jesus. It is a privalege to be able to share this with Prim and lay the foundation of faith in these early days. G has such a heart for God and I hope that this translates with his sister as well. I don't think there is any greater gift I could give them every year.

2 Years Old!!!

I can't believe my little girl is two years old!! We had a big party for her and had a great time. She loved the Elmo theme and was so excited about her cake and HUGE Elmo balloon!

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...

Happy Halloween! We had a GREAT night at our church's Trunk or Treat!!! Here are a few pics of our little kitty and Annakin Skywalker.

Pumpkin Patch

I can't believe it's been forever since I've posted. No one told me that life with two is a different kind of crazy! Prim is thriving and doing great. The appointment with the family therapist was nothing short of wonderful and it was just a relief to have a professional opinion and guidance on Prim's sleep issues. She guided us in our attachment process and it sounds like so far we are right on track. She even encouraged us to start leaving her for small amounts of time with friends that we are very close to. Last week for bible study we left her for one hour and she was awesome! She was great when we left and ran to give me a big hug when we came back. We'll only leave her with our one set of friends whom our kids call aunt and uncle (they are godparents to our kids) and she knows them very well. We spend most days together.
Prim is just a very social little girl. She likes to see and meet new people and is one of those kids who will probably love school. Maybe next year for preschool?? Her and G are doing great together and he is really taking on the role of big brother. He plays with her much more than he was after coming home and they love to wrestle together! We had our first home visit since being home which went very well. I love our social worker. She's so sweet and seemed to think that Prim has made herself right at home here. You should hear this girl talk!!! She is talking more than some 2 year olds I know. I am so impressed by her language skills and how quickly she is coming along, especially because she is learning both french and english at the same time. it's so cute b/c she'll say "i love you" and "hot" or "goodbye" to H in french. She is a really, really bright girl. It blows my mind a bit how intelligent she is and sometimes that makes life a bit harder for both of us. She catches on so quickly can manipulate a situation if we're not paying attention.
I hope all of the new babies home from Thailand are doing well. It's so exciting to read about the families that have traveled after us and see how well they are doing. I've been thinking of you all!!

Dedication

We were so thrilled to have Prim dedicated a few weeks ago and wanted to share the pics of her in her pretty white dress (thanks Grandma!!).
Things here are going great during the day, somewhat crazy still at night. We have an apt with a family therapist tomorrow to hopefully try and get a better handle on some sleep issues and see if we are doing everything we can to promote positive attachment. At this point the sleep issues have gotten worse, not better, and it would be nice to have a professional give us some tips on parenting our little one. We haven't met this therapist but she is experienced in adoption and attachment. I'm actaully really looking forward to the appointment. I'll let you know how it goes!

What Do You Do When...

...your almost five year old pees his pants three times in one week. G has never had accidents once he was fully potty trained. In fact, he's been potty trained since he was 2 1/2 almost 3 so it's hard to remember him in diapers. He doesn't seem very remorseful and not very embarrassed. I honestly think it's for attention and that both makes me mad and very sad altogether. Now is the time when I feel like I should rattle off my laundry list of complaints for the past month and how difficult things have been at times as we are adjusting. But then I remember how tonight I was able to spend almost an hour with G at bedtime reading him stories from the new Beatrix Potter book my in-laws sent and how I told him funny stories about when he was in my tummy. He laughed and laughed when I told him how he would get the hiccups almost every single day, sometimes two or three times a day, or how he was a good sleeper even before we met. His eyes became as big as saucers when I told him that I used to ask him (while he was in my belly) to give me one kick for this (cake) or two kicks for that (ice cream) or how I knew exactly where his bum was right before he was born and would rub that spot and sing him songs.
And then he told me, "Mommy, I'm so happy that we are a family" and I realize that there is nothing at all to complain about. The regressing will stop in time, the nights will get better and eventually their friendship will not be one sided.

Pool Dayz

Here are some pics of our water baby. She has no fear-it's so great!

Fresh Air & Fun

A great nights sleep and a trip to Toys R Us. Can't ask for more than that! The kids had a great time playing out back and G showed his little sister his awesome cart wheels!