Another Update

First of all..HAPPY NEW YEAR THAILAND!!!

Holt called yesterday and they received our updated Dr's note that DSDW had requested. Unfortunately b/c of that request we seemed to have gotten "bumped" and now are looking at early July for travel. We are still hopeful on the end of June but Marissa was more inclined to believe that we would be heading to the July 11th meeting. Can you hear my long, dramatic sigh from here?? I swear this process is like banging your head against a wall over and over again only to find that you enjoy the pain in some creepy, masochistic way. I mean, you go into the process knowing that it will take preparation, there will be TONS of paperwork and unending time lines. You look forward to being accepted, and then "paper pregnant" (I still prefer the belly) and then REFERRAL!!! You keep thinking to yourself "ok...self....if I can make it to this part I'll feel better.....once we have our referral we'll be more patient...once our dossier is in Thailand we're almost done..." Not so much...

Every step of the way has presented more challenges and frustrations that I thought possible. Not because of our agency AT ALL. Just because of the process itself. The red tape, the bureaucracy. The fingerprinting, the notarizing and even more fingerprinting. Birth certificates, divorce and marriage certificates, Dr's notes and on and on and on!!

We have these pictures of this beautiful little girl who is our daughter and she is so far away. A I can only be thankful that we have so many wonderful family and friends supporting us. Yesterday while we ate dinner we asked G what he wanted to do this weekend with Mommy and Daddy.

He said, "Go get my sister". Amen, little man.

waiting....waiting....

..so we needed a dr's note (again) for the dysautonomia. it was requested by dsdw. we got it and sent it to Holt yesterday by email and fedex'd it today overnight. the thai holiday starts next weeks and now i'm a jumble of nerves. will we make the april 25th board? won't we?? does this cause a glitch or is it just a formality to request supporting documentation? i know Holt says that they are requesting this for everyone who's had a medical condition and that it should be ok but deep down you wonder-is it?? why wasn't the first dr's note ok? is this one specific enough??
all i can think about is that we were hoping to be in this next group to travel. it was what is getting us through the day. it brought tangible excitement to our house with the prospect of traveling soon. i know, i know....in His timing. i wish for once that would stop the butterflies in my stomach. my prayer today is for patience and acceptance.

Christ is Risen Indeed!

I love Easter! Not for the bunnies, egg hunts or chocolate (ok, maybe a little for the chocolate) but for the miracle that is Christ and his death and Resurrection. There is nothing more humbling or sobering for me than to reflect on the time that our Lord and Savior spent on the cross. It's not only the fact that he was crucified, dead and buried. That He rose after three days and was witnessed by over 500 people-disciples and peasants alike. I am in awe of His suffering. Not only was he beaten and tortured, nailed to a cross and pierced in his side, a crown of thorns placed on his head. He was heckled and defiled in name. He was mocked and cursed. There was joy in his death from those whom feared Him and thought Him impotent in the face of His own death. I can not imagine the pain, the fear, the indignation that He suffered. And for what?

For us! For sinful, prideful us! It's a miracle that God loved us so much that He sent His one and only Son. That He died for our sins, that His blood will cover us and carry us into Eternity with Him and the Father.

I can't say enough about this day and what it means to me. I don't think there are words to describe it. All I can say is that He knows my heart. He knows every wish, every burden, every sorrow and happiness. My prayer today is that I will work harder at thinking of every day as Easter. That I will remind myself of the precious gift of eternal life that was given to all of us through Jesus. That I became a new creation in Him, forever.

Some News is Good News

Last week we got a call from Marissa. She wanted to give us a heads as to what they've heard from HSF regarding possible travel. It seems that they think that we could "possibly" be in the next group of families to travel. She said that while they haven't scheduled families for the end of May board meeting, they do not think that any Holt families will be traveling to that meeting which leaves June 13 and June 27 up for grabs. Needless to say we were thrilled beyond belief. We really have been praying for an earlier travel date than eight months from dossier submission. She said that she didn't want to get our hopes up but MY hope is is that they wouldn't have said anything if they didn't feel like it was going to happen for us. They are so extremely conservative in their time tables and we've had to push in the past just to get "maybes" when it came to some questions we had. They are very cautious about giving out specific time frames for referral, travels and paperwork approval times b/c it really is subject to so many variables. We were told that we may have an answer regarding travel by the end of this month! That would give us about five weeks to make plans! Pray for us!

I'm attaching some pictures of last weekend when we went to Lake San Antonio with our bible study group. Very fun! Especially since I slept in the camper and not in a tent with H and G. Tee, heeee....

Criss Cross Applesauce...

If prayers were like crossing fingers I think I would be twisted like a pretzel. These days my mantra seems to be "get her here fast", "give me the energy to have two" and on and on.
We got great albeit cautious news on Friday from Marissa at Holt. She called to say that she thinks we may be in the next batch of families scheduled to travel. She doesn't think it will happen at the end of May but is optimistic for either June 13th or June 27th board meetings. Needless to say we were on cloud nine and continue to pray that this timing specifically is His plan. H will be on his break from school and would not have to worry about classes. While we'll be happy to travel anytime, I can understand how H would feel the stress of being two weeks behind in classes. We can only go on faith, though, and are officially getting ourselves in "travel" mode. What else do we need?? Hmmmm.....last night my Target shopping night was successful and I finally got one bathing suit for Prim. It's very sporty (pink of course) and she'll look like a little surfer girl. I need to get one more and that's done. We have so many cute little dresses (thanks Mom and Aunt T!!) and just need a few more pj's and travel outfits will be done. It's hard to know how big she will be but right now I'm getting all 18 month clothing and for the fall/winter 24 months. M says that I'm a bit compulsive in my thinking about her clothing these days but as I see it, it's really the only thing for me to control on this end. She understands of course but promises to counsel me if I am still clothes crazy (ahem...slightly compulsive) when the baby gets here. Isn't that the fun part of having girls?

Oh My Josh...

Last night made turning 30 worth it!!!! Allow me to digress for a moment. In November I was able to get tickets (thanks to H who stayed on computer duty while I was speaking at church) to the Josh Groban concert. It was my birthday present way in advance!! We got amazing floor seats and they were worth every penny! Yesterday the fam headed down to the HP Pavilion in San Jose to *finally* see Josh Groban in concert. It seemed hubby was less than enthusiastic at the possibility of being the only male in attendance, but when the day came he put on his happy face and was ready to party with 10,000 other crazy Grobbies. My little guy experienced his first concert!! It was such a thrill to watch him experience the lights, the noise, the music, the people-and of course Josh himself. Did I mention that G is the worlds youngest Grobanite?? Dare I say he's a Groban-tike? Ok, that was cheesy...

Nothing gave me more pleasure than to see my little man shake his groove thang to my favorite vocal artist. He definitely has his mommies love for music! H ended up having a great time and I couldn't have enjoyed myself more. The music was amazing and Mr. Groban himself can only be described as a vocal acrobat. Bravo!!! I can't wait to get to another concert!

Shhhh....don't tell my husband.....

Back in town....for now

I want to give a quick update on our last post. As I said, Thailand has requested our 1600. We weren't sure why, whether it's the natural progression of things or they are getting ready to give us the travel ok. We are praying for the latter but know that most likely is not the case. We got the great news while in San Diego that our INS paperwork was done and first thing Friday morning it was scanned and emailed to Holt who in turn emailed it to HSF in Thailand. Now we are doing our paperwork for the 1600A and that's it for paperwork until we arrive in Thailand.

Anyway, our trip to southern CA was great! We went for four days with the Halls and stayed at Camp Pendleton near Carlsbad. The drive down was great. Totally smooth and without hiccup except for the fact that my dear husband left his flip flops on the side of the road. Seriously, you wonder how this could happen. How could someone get in the car without their shoes, drive off and not realize they are missing for another hour and a half. Needless to say, H stepped out of his shoes to get into the van b/c apparently he didn't want to get the van dirty while reaching to the third row to help strap in the kiddies. Then we just drove off and he forgot that there was nothing on his feet. Now why can't I get him to take his shoes off in the house?

The totally renovated mobile home that we rented somehow left us feeling slightly upper middle white trash-ish and only added to the smiles that weekend. We visited Seaworld the first day after finding out that Legoland (the whole point of the trip) was closed both Tues and Wed. We were due to be home Thursday. We were flexible and the kids were great and we spent a great day in SD and then on Wednesday we just hung out at the beach all day and later that night had a cookout and bonfire on the beach with friends. Maureen, we loved seeing you , Margaret and the belly!!! We can't wait to meet your baby girl in a few months! Thanks Rob, Jim and Heather for coming to see us!! We miss you guys already!

Thursday rolled around and we spent the entire day at Legoland and although we were less than enthusiastic about driving the seven plus hours home, we left around 5pm and didn't get home until after 2am Friday. Somehow we took on wrong turn and missed one exit along the way (can I help it if the exit sign was blocked by a line of 18 wheelers 10 deep?). I think we managed to drive at least an extra 100 miles. The highlight of the trip came when we back to the exit that we had lost the notorious flip flops. We didn't know exactly where it was. We only knew that there was an abandoned Chevron station and a dirt pull-off. On a hunch we exited and what do we see in the headlights? Two Landsend flip flops covered in dirt and road dust just waiting for their owners return. It was a hysterical moment. Well, that and M's Tourette moments in the car but that's a whole other story...

PS-A huge congratulations to my one and only, Shelley, who just got accepted to nursing school!!!! We love you!

Curiouser and Curiouser

So we got a call from Marissa inquiring about our 1600A status. Apparently Thailand is requesting that we fax it to them immediately. Of course my stomach was in knots and we became elated that *maybe* it was getting to be travel time. We spoke with her and of course we got the party line of "don't get your hopes up" because it really could just mean that they are reviewing our file and wanted that last bit of info. She gave us an email address for the San Jose INS department and we immediately fired off an email requesting (humbly) that they expedite our petition as we have a little one waiting for us. Marissa called back today with an update saying that they are trying to push our dossier through the first of two approvals and need that one piece of paper. I think the next step is for them to say "OK, come over during this time".....at least I think.....
It's hard not to get excited but then frustrated that the INS is taking their sweet time and had requested paperwork from us that was specifically detailed in our home study report. It almost blows my mind that they are creating more work for themselves and slowing down the process in the meantime. Marissa did say that this is good news because we know for certain that our paperwork is in the pipeline and making its way up the food chain and progressing as it should be. We are still continuing to pray for a miracle and if it is in His time that we will bring Prim home in May.
Well, I shouldn't even be taking the time to write this right now. I am supposed to be leaving for a women's retreat in Santa Cruz in a little under three hours and still haven't showered from tennis, folded laundry or packed my suitcase. I know it's only for a weekend but you have to bring sheets, blanket and pillows for the cabin so a travel bag won't do. And of course my makeup, books, magazines, hair stuff......

One More Week

Another week gone by and still it seems like forever until we get the call to pick up Prim. Thanks to friends and family who made the last two weekends fly by! It was great to have a full house and now we settle down and get back into a routine. This week proves to be busy with the normal routine and getting ready for the women's retreat in Santa Cruz this weekend. A bunch of us have a cabin together so it should be a great time! I'm really looking forward to the message this weekend and having an opportunity to once again renew my weary spirit.

did I mention I'm 30?

so this saturday crept up quickly and before I could scream "STOP!!" I hit the big 3-0. Goodbye 20's (notice my lower lip trembling).....It's not that I mind, it's just the realization that I seem to have crossed an invisible line that only leads to *gulp* 40. My hubby laughs and is thrilled that we are now "in our 30's together". I promptly remind him that he is still 5 1/2 years older than me and way closer to 40 and laugh right back.
Very good friends of ours came from San Diego Friday and we had a wonderful weekend. Unfortunately Saturday morning came with sad news for our friends. They received a phone call in the middle of breakfast that a very good friend and colleague had been killed in Iraq. He was only weeks away from coming home and the reality of this news was overwhelming for everyone. It's humbling to see grown men cry and my heart broke for their loss as they tried to put a smile on their face because it was my birthday. I am hoping that they find comfort knowing that God was with him during his final moments and lovingly carried him into heaven.
We spent the day in downtown Monterey, did some wine tasting and window shopping and later I was met by almost forty friends at a surprise party my hubby had been scheming with Meredith. I was actually completely surprised (hard to do, especially since H is a horrible liar)!! It was fun and so good to see everyone and very flattering to have so many people there to send me best wishes on my birthday. Thanks everyone!!!
The only bad part of the weekend was that G was sick-again! Double ear infection and a fever that won't stop for Motrin or Tylenol. We got antibiotics on Friday but he is still running a low grade fever and it's Monday. I know he was miserable but even my sweet little boy tried his best to give me smiles and kisses this weekend. He loves birthdays and kept asking me when I was going to open presents-obviously the important part of birthdays for a four year old. I'm going to keep him from school today and hopefully by Wednesday he'll be well enough to return. Darn those preschool germs!!