Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Thing Is

This is the thing with infertility.  Every decision that you make is a deliberate, one-foot- in-front-of-the-other step towards the future.  It is being totally aware that each and every decision is a choice to change your life.

I am missing my husband and today he feels further away than most.  This is the part of the process I like the least.  The feeling of separation that is there, even if he were next to me holding my hand because it's not as it should be.

But today is a good day.  One filled with promise and anticipation and the possibility of new life and love.  I have butterflies in my stomach.  I feel a bit like a girl with a secret that can't help but share.

I'm not sure how I will handle this going forward, I am on self imposed shaky ground in my desire to be open about the process.  Please forgive me if I don't say anything about the outcome either way-for different reasons I may be quiet.

If you think of me today will you say a prayer? 


Wendy said...

MANY prayers to our heavenly Father from me for you, April!

Open Air said...

Yes, praying for you. Definitely!
Thanks for being so open about the process. I appreciate it, for one!
You're not alone with all the infertility treatment ups and downs. I know what you mean about that. I'll be in your shoes-hopefully soon-with an IUI in a few months, (my first) so it's nice hearing from someone who's been through it.
I know what you mean about it being so exciting! I remember feeling that way when they did our IVF transfer. I still get that feeling vicariously every time I'm in the waiting room and I hear someone call, "Doctor So and So to the procedure room." I think, this could be their day!!
And this just could be yours... :)

Mireille said...

Oh April, you are in my thoughts and prayers!! Good Luck my friend! Whatever the outcome, you can handle it and come out strong!!

April said...

Thanks Ladies,
Yesterdays treatment was ok but our counts were unfortunately low so our chances for success are much lower than anticipated. Keeping a positive attitude though-thanks for all the prayers! Keep them coming!

Related Posts with Thumbnails