Don't Be Jealous

My afternoon consisted of a speculum, a catheter and a Spanish/Italian doctor with a French accent. Jealous yet?

It's not every day you get to see the inner workings of your uterus. Besides the fact that I broke out into a cold sweat just remembering this procedure seven years ago it went fairly well.

Today was another reminder why it's taken this long to jump back on the fertility-treatment-bandwagon. So far this month I have had one consultation, four panels of blood work, three vaginal (yes, I said vagina) ultrasounds, an annual exam and an HSG.

HSG stands for 'Hysterosalpingogram' and is a common procedure during the work-up phase prior to diagnosing and/or treating infertility. Because my last HSG was done prior to G over seven years ago, I had to bite the bullet (or leather strap) and have this done again at the request of my reproductive doc.

I must commend the medical field for improving this procedure and BRAVO! for my doctor for being current on technological advances! The HSG consists of (cross your legs ladies) threading a catheter into the vagina, through the cervix and into the uterus where dye is injected, the catheter inflates a small balloon trapping the contrast in the uterine cavity which then proceeds to fill with dye and spill into (hopefully) both fallopian tubes. This is done while an x-ray machine is centered over the pelvis and the results can be seen live on a separate screen. For all of my anxiety over the discomfort this was NOTHING compared to my experience years ago when the cervix was actually clamped to the side in order to make way for the catheter. Barbaric if you ask me.

So, I am learning that during all of this when I am flat on my back and cursing the process, to imagine the feel of a baby in my arms. I remember the awe of feeling a new life stirring inside me and the joy of kissing newborn toes and I take the pain. H says I'm taking one for the team and I guess that's true. Who else would endure all of this except for a mother?