Sunday, June 03, 2007

Back in Town

We're back from San Diego and it was so good to see G!! I wish I could say he felt the same, he barely batted an eyelash when we came out of the airport. Since when did this kid become so independent?? He's been sort of aloof all day, I don't know if he's punishing us for leaving him or if he really did become a teenager over the weekend....
SD was really wonderful. While the reason we were there was incredibly sad, we felt so good seeing our friends and witnessing how much support they had. The memorial for Charlotte was exceptional, very simple but touching in a way that can almost be comfortable within the confines of intimacy and sadness.
You know how you see a trait in a persona that you wish you had? I've always noticed how Maureen is very honest verbally. There are no flowery words or slips of the tongue. She says what she feels for better or for worse and in that you can see how comfortable she is with herself. I have always noticed that but it wasn't until this weekend that it really hit home for me. When I spoke with her on the phone before we met for lunch, she was telling me how she had felt after Charlotte had passed.
Now, I knew Mike was in the car and could hear everything she was saying and I was awestruck that she could express herself so passionately and without hesitation. I mean, I tell H everything but this makes me wonder, do I verbally illustrate to him how I feel? Do I use the words sob, ache, elated, devastated? Do my feelings come out as bright oranges and reds or hues of gray and white?
Later, I look at Mike and watch him while Maureen speaks and I see love. They have lost but there is intimacy in words. I came away better this weekend because of them-because of this little girl whose life will be lived in the hearts of her parents.

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