No News Part II

Marissa just emailed and said that they didn't receive any 1st approval news from HSF today. That doesn't mean that they won't hear something on Monday but she said if we don't then hopefully the 5/23 meeting in two weeks. More waiting....

No News

I woke up at 6am with butterflies in my stomach. Actually, it had to be more like circus monkeys but I'll stick to the old saying for kicks. I couldn't get back to sleep and luckily H was trying to wake up for the day so we chatted and made our plan for the day in case of *news*. His orders were not to call me at all today. No texting. Nada. If I saw his number I would assume that Marissa must have called his cell and not the house and my heart would jump out of my chest. I couldn't take that multiple times today (we are text tag junkies, especially when our favorite shows are on. Example-"Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactiga" (the office) or "Yataaaaaaay" (heroes) . Seriously, we need a life.
I told him I would text if we got a call. Around 11:30 I was in such a tizzy that I called Marissa myself. I promised I wouldn't because I imagined she was making happy calls to other families and I didn't want to take her time away from that. However, sanity trumps courtesy and I dialed with gusto. Marissa was so nice and gracious and told me that they usually don't hear until Fridays or even Mondays. Oh geese. At least I was out of my misery for one more day. She seems confident that if we weren't presented at yesterdays meeting than it will be two weeks from now.
On a positive note, my blog pal Hannah got her great news yesterday and will be traveling to Bangkok for the June 13 meeting. Yeah Hannah!!!

Our House is a Petri Dish

could that statement be any more right? so G wakes up yesterday with a bit of a cough and I assume it's allergies....AGAIN!!! we've all been miserable here with allergies since moving and these past few months have been extraordinary. Today he woke up coughing without much relief from albuterol and I immediately made an appointment for him to be seen. later in the morning we saw his pediatrician and would you believe it? Pneumonia!!! I mean COME.ON. That makes two double ear infections, bronchitis, a sinus infection, skin infection and NOW pneumonia. All since January. My poor little guy is a walking antibiotic. I just feel at my wits end for him. He's been so sick yet he really puts on such a brave face. I can't believe that through most of this he just smiles and tries to joke around and still wants to kick daddy's butt at a light saber duel to the death. children are just so resilient. i could take some pointers from my son.so, in conclusion, i realize that you never, ever, know what the day is going to hold. sometimes it's bad, but sometimes it's really great too. while I know that today was filled with some bad parts and could have been better, I am thankful because it could have been alot worse! tomorrow in thailand a board is meeting and who knows, maybe the day will bring good news.

You never know...

Scrapbooking 101

I finally bit the bullet and began Prim's scrapbook-or should I call it a Life book?? I've decided that I will do one book completely dedicated to the adoption and our travels and then begin a separate book that focuses on her "growing up"-just like G's. I couldn't wrap my brain around doing both together and felt better when I decided to make her journey to our family a book in itself. It just felt like too much to keep adding onto and I look forward to dedicating many, many pages to her past history.

I do have to say though that when I think about what to include about her bio family I kind of come to a screeching halt. I think a part of me-a very honest part of me-quakes at talking about her biological mother. There is just that part of my heart that wants to her to be mine all mine and no one elses. But...then the realistic part of me kicks in and I realize this is real life-not a soap opera-and this part of her is who she is and who she will be. The funny thing is is that I can't wait to tell her how she was loved and adored by her foster family but I hear crickets when I think about what to tell her about her mother. That she was too young and would have been a disgrace to her family forever? That she may not have had a fair chance in life because of stigma that last for generations? I'm sure that, in time, with experience and actually having her here it won't be as awful as I think it to be.

Food for thought: How do we raise our adopted children to celebrate their lives without being defined by their adoption?

Another One Bites the Dust...

Another week down and still no updates on our little girl. I look forward to tomorrow being Monday, knowing that I have a crazy week of tennis and plenty of things to take my mind off of Wednesday's board meeting in Thailand.

This weekend was great. We do a babysitting co-op with friends and this weekend was our weekend to watch all of the kids. It turned out to be a great evening and we had a great time taking them to dinner and then to the big park near our house. M is only a few months older than Prim and she is just a joy to be with. I always tell her mother that I pray that Prim has the personality of M..and the appetite!! She is a doll and it makes me miss having our baby here even more. It's amazing how quickly I've forgotten the things that made me thrive as a mother during toddler hood. I love the babbling and animal sounds and the sheer, unadulterated enjoyment of all things new and exciting like big slides and sand! M is a daily reminder for me and I think God is using this precious little girl to prepare my heart for our daughter.

Today G slept in-would you believe it until after 9 in the morning! He had had two late nights so we decided to let him sleep and skip church. Not something we do often but we felt he could use the extra rest since we've all been so sick the last few months. Later in the day my son, my sweet little guy, had a temper tantrum that was almost laughable it was so dramatic. We hadn't gone through one of those in so long H and I just stared at each other and shrugged our shoulders. He was so tired from no nap, in the heat at a BBQ and then going swimming to boot that he just couldn't deal with himself anymore. G has this issue after swimming with his eyes being "swirly"-his term not mine. We try to get him to wear the mask but even when he does he won't let H suction it to his face to prevent the water from coming in so it's all for not. Our indoor pool is very chlorinated and it bothers him afterwards. Well, he must have gotten a wee bit over zealous b/c he was extremely congested as well and was trying to suck his two fingers and couldn't breathe through his mouth and his eyes were all swirly and on and on and on. He became so frustrated that he started screaming the second I mentioned nose drops to clear him up.

We managed to hold him down long enough to get the drops in and the second he found relief his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he was asleep-at 5pm. Not an ideal nap time.

Tonight I finished Prim's first scrapbook page. It's nothing crazy or overly creative. I really just needed to get over the hump on doing the first page. Every time I sit down to do start it I feel like I don't know where to start. Do I start with us and why we wanted to adopt? Do I leave out us entirely and make it totally about her? Do I add in personal information about her bio family right now? Should I do a page on Thailand and what makes it special? Any insight out there in cyberworld would be really helpful!!

These are the days....

...when I wonder how in the world I will do it with two children. Yesterday I spent the majority of the day hanging my head (and other extremities) over the toilet with the stomach flu. Have I mentioned that this is the third year in a row that I've had the stomach virus at least twice each year? I mean, seriously, do I have the immune system of a guppy?
I can't tell you how unbelievably thankful I am that every time this has happened I have had an amazing friend in my life who has swooped in on angel's wings and taken G for as long as I've needed to recover. So there I am in bed, sweating, shaking and miserable and all I can think about is how I will do this with two children. G's easy now, right? Throw in a DVD or he plays quietly with Star Wars lego guys. What did I do when I had a toddler and this happened? For whatever reason toddler hood feels like eons ago now that we are in self sufficient land. Needless to say I panicked a bit in my dehydrated delirium. These are the things I worry about. Not about Prim attaching (it will happen eventually), not about if she's picky or a prima donna, but if I have enough energy, enough patience to go around. I think, truly, that motherhood is synonymous with vulnerability (and guilt).

My Little Batman

Tonight we went to a dinner/silent auction to support the Officer's Christian Fellowship and had a great time!! The kids were treated to face painting (by the fabulous Christina). How cute is G?

What a nice way to end the evening and a great beginning to the weekend. Tomorrow is going to be crazy for a Sunday! I am singing both services at church, going to a friend's baptism (yeah! Melissa) out at Lover's Point, a birthday party for our neighbor's little boy and finally a baby shower for a friend! Whew! I think I may be breaking the rule of work on the Sabbath.....

I must say that in spite of all of the busie-ness I am thankful for being blessed with these friendships and opportunities to worship Him in all that I do tomorrow.

Happy weekend!

Oh, PS...Doesn't Prim look just like G??!!!

Please Pass the Tissues

Today has come and gone with no word from Holt. I think I can safely assume that we weren't presented at Wednesday's board meeting. I saw on the Yahoo board that another family from Holt got their TA today. Needless to say I'm incredibly disappointed although I shouldn't be surprised. Marissa did say she thought is was unlikely that we would be presented and thought it more likely that we would get TA in May. I guess June's out of the question for travel so now we're looking at July. Another two weeks of waiting....

Looking forward to hump day

How cute is this????


Thanks girls!!!

Wednesday is tomorrow and my stomach is in knots. After being bumped because we needed a doctor's note, there is little chance that we will be presented before the board tomorrow. Marissa said that it would be "highly unlikely" and all I heard was "so you're saying there's a chance?". The poor woman probably thinks I'm daft. I know that the next one is in two weeks but that feels like forever so I am praying that if it is His will that there will be a miracle. And if not I pray that I have tissues with lotion in them at home.....

Needless to say I think I have officially begun the "nesting" process. I didn't really feel this way as much with G just because H was deployed and my mom was around to keep me company and watch me like I was a ticking bomb.

On Sunday, however, my dear friends had a baby shower for me and it was like heaven! Everything was in pink and chocolate and there was china and tea cups and it all felt so....GIRLY!! Prim received just incredible outfits and toys and an adorable baby carriage and I just felt extremely humbled and flattered. We have received so much love and prayers through this process. I came home with arm loads of gifts and then realized that I had to make room for it all. Thus the nesting began. Of course I had to move the kids' room around and transform the alcove upstairs that had G's train table and then everything else looked so nice and the office was completely trashed so today that took a hit. Now I feel the urge to tackle the closet and pantry downstairs and if that darned island didn't weigh so much I'd move that too! This absolutely drives my husband nuts to come home and see the house completely rearranged. It damages his Type A sensibilities. Teee Heeeeeeeee.....

In closing, I just want to say to everyone waiting for tomorrow (there are many of us out there)-good luck and many blessings. Especially for Hannah out there in cyberspace: you've waited for this for a long time and I hope that you have your day tomorrow. Our prayers are with you.

Drive Thru 4 Smiles

Hi all!!! As we are preparing to travel I also remind myself that I have committed to bringing toys for the children who are in foster care and at the baby homes. For those of you who do not know, I am running a ministry out of our home called Drive Thru 4 Smiles. I collect used/new drive thru toys from fast food chains and distribute them. You may ask why drive thru toys?? Well, these toys, as you know, are small and light weight...i.e. cheap to mail and easy to store. Currently I am working with our community outreach director from our church and have donated almost 200 toys to date. I am happy to say that I have been able to support the emergent women's shelter here in Monterey and also a food bank that supports mostly immigrant families. These toys are such a gift to these children who have very little. Many of the children have left abusive situations with their mothers and do not have a home. These toys are portable, well made and in keeping with current trends and movies-so important to all kids!!
My goal is to bring as many as I can stuff into a large suitcase and give them to our social workers to distribute when they do home visits. If you are interested please leave me a comment on this post with your email address and I will PM within a day or two. Ask your friends and family, look under the bed and in the corners of your kids rooms! I bet you'll find a ton! Also, do something healthy for yourself; the next time you go to McDonald's, order a happy meal instead of a large number whatever.