What Do You Think?

Hello all in blog land. I wanted to throw this question out there for anyone who has given the following subject some thought or have actually utilized this service. International Adoption Clinics.
When we got Prim's med file we had it gone over with a fine tooth comb by a trusted pediatrician whom we felt would give us great guidance and info. Unfortunately this pediatrician is not near us so we will have to rely on G's pediatrician for Prim. Don't get me wrong, I like his dr alot. She has been great and is very conservative and knowledgable. However, is there a huge advantage to going to an Inernational Adoption Medicine Doctor? I contacted a clinic in Oakland to get some info, it's the closest to us on the west coast practically. I actually spoke with the dr for some time and of course she thinks it's an EXCELLENT idea to have Prim seen at their clinic. What else would she say? It cost $540 for the visit (most likely not covered by insurance) and if we want an extra neuro/psych evaluation to see where she is developmentally and emotionally it's an extra $380. I can't believe I'm letting the money part get to me. I mean, after what we've spent on this adoption this is a drop in the hat right?
I know Prim will need to see a pediatric opthamologist for sure b/c of some issues with her eyes as a baby. She's been given a clean bill of health (to my knowledge) but I don't feel comfortable with that until a US dr has seen her.
Ugh. I would like any and all advice. I know G's pediatrician is competent but is there something she might overlook? Would the IA Clinic do more??
A shout out to the two Holt families who got TA today!!! More babies coming home is always reason to celebrate. Only three weeks and counting for us. Come on July....

Swim Lessons

G has had swimming lessons for going on two weeks now. He was so excited (so it seemed) and then once he started it all went down hill. H took him to his first lesson since I had tennis and said that he did great until the last five minutes and then broke down and decided enough was enough. The next day we went and he dragged his feet and pretty much sulked the entire way to swim lessons and then once inside had a full blown temper tantrum. I don't know what his deal was but I think alot of it has to do with being with a stranger in the pool. I think it's pretty vulnerable for a kid especially when most of the time they are practicing floating on their back. G does NOT like floating on his back. We've been working with him for a while and I was resigned to the fact that someone else besides us would have to teach him. Kids just learn better in certain situations with another people. This is one of those times. Anyway, he screamed for twenty minutes in the pool. He screamed and cried still while performing every excersice, only stopping to hold his breath. It was only when his teacher made a funny face at him under the water that he finally enjoyed himself and started blabbing away.
Today, finally, he went in without hesitation. He likes his newer teacher (they switch around) b/c she knows all about Star Wars. She is the head swim instructor and not a teenager like the rest. I think he responds better to her b/c she's really cool but assertive. G is the type of kid that needs someone to take the bull by the horns b/c of his personality. He is pretty strong willed and will likely slack off b/c he can or because he has more fun being goofy. It's not a bad thing, I love that he really enjoys himself in almost every situation, but there is a time to be serious.
We really talked alot about him thinking about what he was about to do in the pool today b/f he did it and he ended up floating on his back all by himself for 10 seconds!!! I was such a proud mommy!
I have decided that next week I begin packing. We'll have two weeks to go then and I want to make sure that I don't over pack and stress myself out at the last minute. Right now I just hope we have enough luggage! I have all of Prim's clothes put aside and just need to wash them and stick them in a suitcase. It's been a little stressful reading the Thai yahoo board lately so I think I may be opting out until we return. There are some things going on that while extremely painful for other families right now, are causing me stress. My mind starts filling with "what if's" and everything goes downhill from there.
Here is my memory verse for the week:
Psalm 21:1 Lord you are my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? You are the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

I'm still here!

I can officially say that it is less than one month before we leave for Thailand!! I know it's been a couple of days since I posted but we've been busy with "normal" life. We're getting into the summer groove now that G is out of school. H is home from school for about two weeks and has already sodded the back yard and built a sand box for the kids. I'll post pics sometime later to show off his handiwork!
G has started swim lessons and although strenuously objected at first, is now more comfortable and learning how to float on his back. The only problem is that the kid never SHUTS UP! It's so funny because he is still talking while jumping into the pool. I used to worry that he would swallow water but he seems to handle it okay and by golly he starts talking again the second he surfaces. That's my boy!
I'm working on tennis and trying to nail down some new shots. Today I learned that top spin takes too much thought b/c slicing is more natural for me. George says I need to be more diverse to be the best player I can so I'll be spending the next few weeks trying to figure out which shot to do when and hoping to not look ridiculous in the process.
Well, I'm writing this email from my new laptop!! I finally bit the bullet and got a MacBook and am officially ready to be plugged in while traveling. It will be nice to know that we'll have constant contact with friends and family and I'm happy to know that I can keep blogging during our time there. I can't imagine that we'd be making very many phone calls so this will be great. My new project is to make a movie on our one year living in Italy. I can't believe we moved over nine months ago. It's such a short period of time but seems like so very long ago. I miss it and especially my Canadian gal.
A quick thought. Today during tennis I was playing and just happend to look over at my team mate's little boy who was playing with Mr Potato Head. G has never had one and I immediately thought that Prim might like to play with something like that when she's a bit older. I got such a strong feeling of just emptiness. In that moment I missed her so much that I had tears in my eyes. As quickly as it came, it left and I started playing again. I was so unprepared for those feelings that I've thought about it all day.
Anyone else ever experience that?

Hibernating

That is what it feels like now. Not much to say. Travel is too far away to start packing but too soon to not consider the possibilities and realities of our journey. Nothing that I'm reading is interesting me and it took three books to realize that my heart is just not into it. (for those of you that know my voracious reading habits please pick your jaw up off the floor) I picked out all of the outfits that I'm bringing for Prim. Yes, honey, I do realize that we'll only be gone for two weeks and that we can have laundry service. Yes, I do realize that there will be plenty of time when we get home to dress her up and put bows in her hair. No, I guess I don't NEED to bring all ten bows....

I heard a rumor that Brangelina are adopting another kid or two. I guess I could mull that over and think of more reasons why being rich is so useful. There is no good tv on right now except for Deadliest Catch (thanks mom:) and new episodes of Dog the Bounty Hunter. Some invention show is starting soon, that might be interesting. Maybe Last Comic Standing? Hmph..

Praises

Today I feel a bit grouchy so I will list all of the praises that I have for the past few days:

1. Baby Liam was born healthy and beautiful yesterday afternoon! He's a doll!

2. Our new camera was returned to Best Buy (good riddance) and now new camera #2 is on probation until it proves itself worthy of our trip to Thailand.

3. G has a new Star Wars toy that IS NOT made of a million Lego pieces. i.e...when we go out I not longer have to worry about keeping track of every piece to that particular Star Wars aircraft.

4. G finished his pre k class Friday and now is on summer break!

5. H did very well on two final exams and has only two classes left until the summer break!

6. I picked out all of the outfits that we will bring for Prim and set them aside.

7. Hotel reservations made for Hua Hin!

8. That our family is on it's healthiest streak in almost two years! No illnesses to speak of in weeks!

9. Have made some very special connections with women online due to our adoption. You know who you are!!

10. Only five weeks until we leave for Thailand!

Our New Camera

So Big!!
Flower power

Once upon a time there was a girl who LOVED to take pictures. She carted her camera every where, capturing every moment that she thought would make a fantastic memory. One of these moments happened two Christmas' ago when her lovely Canadian friend had a pajama party to celebrate the holidays. It wasn't just any old pajama party, ladies. There was drinking and laughing and very, very loud music! Now, this girl who loved her camera so set it on top of a big screen projection television-out of the way of the increasingly inebriated group and danced until she was dizzy. The music was thumping and as the night wore on it only got louder. So loud in fact that the girls camera slowly began to shake it's way along the edge of the television until suddenly *THUD*. The camera had vibrated it's way off of the the rather large TV. It was a somber moment. And I mean moment because two seconds later she was back to shakin' her groove thang.

Fast forward to reality and it's time for this girl to travel to get her daughter. The plans are being made, it's all coming together. And then this girl realizes her camera does very strange things now. Does she risk half blurry pictures in Thailand or does she succumb to the Best Buy sales woman who has convinced her that there will be no do-overs on her trip?

Welcome home Canon Power Shot SD800 IS. The girl mistakenly thought that you were a great point and shoot camera until she got you home and realized that reading the manual was imperative for getting a decent picture. This is her penance for that fateful night two Christmas' ago....

Back in Town

We're back from San Diego and it was so good to see G!! I wish I could say he felt the same, he barely batted an eyelash when we came out of the airport. Since when did this kid become so independent?? He's been sort of aloof all day, I don't know if he's punishing us for leaving him or if he really did become a teenager over the weekend....
SD was really wonderful. While the reason we were there was incredibly sad, we felt so good seeing our friends and witnessing how much support they had. The memorial for Charlotte was exceptional, very simple but touching in a way that can almost be comfortable within the confines of intimacy and sadness.
You know how you see a trait in a persona that you wish you had? I've always noticed how Maureen is very honest verbally. There are no flowery words or slips of the tongue. She says what she feels for better or for worse and in that you can see how comfortable she is with herself. I have always noticed that but it wasn't until this weekend that it really hit home for me. When I spoke with her on the phone before we met for lunch, she was telling me how she had felt after Charlotte had passed.
Now, I knew Mike was in the car and could hear everything she was saying and I was awestruck that she could express herself so passionately and without hesitation. I mean, I tell H everything but this makes me wonder, do I verbally illustrate to him how I feel? Do I use the words sob, ache, elated, devastated? Do my feelings come out as bright oranges and reds or hues of gray and white?
Later, I look at Mike and watch him while Maureen speaks and I see love. They have lost but there is intimacy in words. I came away better this weekend because of them-because of this little girl whose life will be lived in the hearts of her parents.