Thursday, July 01, 2010

What No One Told You

We'll continue with Part II of "What I Don't Hear" tomorrow.  But for now, I'd like to know, what was it that you learned after coming home and the months that followed your child's adoption that you wish someone would have told you before hand?

What little nugget of wisdom would have been transformative in helping you prepare yourself and your child for your new life together? 

I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas and please, please share your heart!


Wendy said...

When we adopted Becky I wish I had been prepared to respond to stupid questions by intrusive strangers. Back in the early 90's no one really prepared you for that.

By the time we adopted Lily 13 years later it was old hat (though no less annoying).

When we adopted Lily I wish I had been fully emotionally prepared for how stressful the transition would be for all of us and how deeply she would grieve for her former life. Since we had a stress-free transition with Becky I naively expected Lily's to be the same.

thecurryseven said...

I wish I had known how difficult it can be for the parent to attach to the child. I had no clue that strongly not liking one's new child is a fairly common occurance, just one that is rarely talked about. So on top of dealing with a grieving, out-of-control child, I was also dealing with immense guilt over what a horrible mother I was. I felt as though I was the only one who had ever felt that way and was convinced nothing would ever be OK again. Which brings me to the second thing I wish I had known, and that those first few months are early, early days and are not indicative of what the rest of life is going to look like.


Robin said...

I'll second e's comment. I wasn't prepared for the 2 way street that is attachment. I'd read about my kid's transition and attachment to *me*, but not vice versa. Good friends who were going through the same thing were sooooo necessary for me.

Brazenlilly said...

Good stuff. Keep sharing. April...what about you?

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