Thursday, January 28, 2010

Where Do Babies Come From?

I used to think that this was an easy question to answer. A baby is conceived out of love, adoration and the dedication to a union gifted by God. We are commanded to be "fruitful and multiply" (if the Lord blesses you with a spouse. Paul also teaches that celibacy (being single) is also acceptable-neither marriage nor celibacy being more important because each is a gift).

May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer,
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love. Proverbs 5:18-19

I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride;
I have gathered my myrrh with my spice.
I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey;
I have drunk my wine and my milk. Song of Solomon 5:1

Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside,
let us spend the night in the villages.
Let us go early to the vineyards . . .
there I will give you my love. Song of Solomon 7:11-12

In these incredible Biblical images of marriage and lovemaking it was always my assumption (remember I was married at 21) that a child was the ultimate, natural result of God's intended union. Don't get me wrong-it is!! I just quickly came to realize that we were only going to get from point (no pun intended) A to point D. That Z was an experience that would allude us for years. I looked around and then at my husband and thought, how could this be? I LOVE my husband. What comes next is supposed to-well-come next!
So where do babies come from? They are an incredible gift, loved as they are knitted in their mother's womb by our Heavenly Father. For some of us, though, our children are knitted outside of ourselves. Some are knitted in the sterile environment of a doctor's office, some are knitted across the ocean or in the mother of a young girl. Sometimes the knitting happens after rape or incest or as a result of youth or trial.
The joy of this is is that where our babies came from don't define us as mothers. I was blessed to be able to carry my son when so many women desire the same and are unable. We had help, I felt like less of a woman but I have never felt like less of a mother. My daughter was born to a child thousands of miles away. It doesn't keep me from experiencing her as if she had been born from my body. My babies still came from a Father who knew them before their conception. In His infinite wisdom and grace they were still brought into the family that He intended as illustrated in His Word. My babies still came from a place of love. They were born in my heart.


Sarah said...

My dear friend, you should never feel less of a woman.

April said...

I know I shouldn't but there have been times when I have. I know I'm not the only one and it's hard to talk about but sometimes just necessary to say. It's hard when your body doesn't do what you know God created it to. It's not that I harp on it, but you wouldn't believe the stigma and the shame that women can feel when they are unable to conceive. I have been blessed despite my circumstances 1000 fold b/c God is SO GOOD!!!

Hirally said...

very true...there is a stigma, I have felt a form of it while I could conceive I could not breastfeed and I had no idea how guilty and less of a women I was going to feel and how put down by other mothers, especially living in the NW and how I felt I had to justify myself for along time, I can't imagine how much worse if I had infertility problems. At the same time motherhood is so much more than how are kids come to us. Very nicely said. And to think that my child will also experience the stigma of adoption breaks my heart.

Mireille said...

Beautiful said! And yes April I can feel the pain you felt, but having a wonderful family eases that pain and you slowly forget.... at least that is how I experience!

Mireille said...

Beautiful said! And yes April I can feel the pain you felt, but having a wonderful family eases that pain and you slowly forget.... at least that is how I experience!

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