She CAN Do It!!

Lately our goal has been to get Prim to a place where she can express herself in a way that does not include crying, whining and tantrumming. Normally our day includes dozens of examples of the above with me trying my best to be calm and patient, prompting her to use her "big girl words" in the face of tears and screams.

It doesn't take much, saying "no" to Prim is more likely than not cause for hysterics. She is dysregulated more quickly these days than even a year ago. Who can blame her? A daddy deployed for seven months and two moves within nine weeks after his return is enough to send anyone over the edge. With the help of a therapist and some fantastic bloggin' moms, I've taken on board great suggestions and skills that, although they set me outside of my comfort zone, are what Prim needs.

Often I ask Prim, "just tell me what you need sweetheart" and what I get are tears and a high pitched chipmunk voice that make my ears feel like they are going to start bleeding. This morning, as I do every morning, I ask her go upstairs and get dressed and brush her teeth. Two months ago her response would have been immediate whining, feet stomping and altogether mayhem. About a month ago she was finally using her words to tell me (in her most whiny voice often accompanied by tears) that she doesn't want to be upstairs by herself. Even that was progress. At least then she was saying how she felt so I began walking upstairs with her so she could complete her task. This morning, after making my daily request to go upstairs and get dressed, she came up to me and said in her most big girl voice "mommy, do you mind coming upstairs with me so I can get dressed please?".

What a victory!! Not for me but for my little girl who must have felt so secure to be able to ask me with such confidence! We did a very long happy dance and celebrated her words with high fives and kisses. She did it! I know it may not happen again tomorrow or the next day but I know that she can do it and now so does she. The best part was that later she reminded me that she had talked with no whining and she felt like such a big girl!

Baby steps equal big milestones in our house. This day couldn't have gotten better.....